Spiritual Exercises – A Stripped Heart

The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius have become for me a path of stripping the heart. Throughout my life, I learned to be strong, to manage everything, not to show my weakness. Yet here, God leads me to a place where I can hide nothing. I stand before Him as I am, with my fears, fatigue, and limitations, and in this encounter, I discover that true strength is born in His love.

I began to notice that my thoughts and feelings are not solely mine. I started to catch those thoughts that previously flowed through me unreflectively, without stopping or analysing them. Now, the Lord showed me where the reactions of my heart originate, why fears, sadness, discouragement come, where desires and reactions arise that I previously did not understand. It was like opening my eyes; suddenly, I saw myself and my inner self from a different perspective, and each discovery brought light to places that were previously dark.

In this experience, agere contra became particularly strong for me – acting against what pulls me down. It is not a battle of sheer willpower, but a conscious choice of what leads towards God, even if it requires effort. When fear arose, I learned to choose trust. When discouragement came, I took a small step of prayer. When the temptation to close in on myself was strong, I opened my heart to God and to other people. These small decisions gave me a freedom and peace I had not known before.

Every spiritual struggle, though painful, became an opportunity to meet Jesus and discover something new in His presence. After each one, gratitude was born for the lessons, for His patience, for the love that guides me. I began to experience that His voice accompanies me not only in meditations but in daily life, in thoughts, desires, ordinary moments of the day. More and more often, I can recognise Him, hear Him, trust Him.

The greatest gift is the awareness that He looks at me with a gaze full of love. He does not stop at my weaknesses or mistakes; He sees in me a child who is beloved and chosen. This gaze gives me courage and strength to move forward, to choose life and light, even when it is difficult.

The Ignatian Exercises taught me that life with Jesus is not about avoiding suffering but about meeting Him at its centre. It is precisely in pain and difficulty that gratitude and the discovery of His face are born. This experience has changed me forever and opened my heart to live in truth and love.