If You Believe Me... #2

The artistic images and train of thought are taken from the meditations the Lord gave me during the 30-week Spiritual Exercises.

I remember how You taught me to walk on water.

It was then I realised that no storm of my being swept up in the hustle and bustle of this world frightens You. After all, You know how easily I can drown. You taught (and still teach) me to swim with the Father's patience. At first You broke through the outer ice and reached out Your hand to lift me from the depths, overwhelmed by fear. Then You skilfully drew me along so that I did not immediately notice we had already been walking for quite some time on the surface of that on which one cannot rely: we were walking on water. And finally You urged me to breathe when my head was in the thick flow of water — within my own anxieties, tensions and cares about outward things. How much resistance there was in me!..

And only Your words reminded me Who You are: "If You believe Me...".

And while my gaze was connected with Yours, I could breathe underwater.

I remember, Lord, how storm clouds were rent to shreds above me, how lightning flashed, how the wind raced in madness. It was the storm of my inner anxieties, my volatility and impulsiveness. How often that storm kicks up dust, obscuring my view of the path, or how it howls in such a way that it instils fear and draws attention to itself. But it was precisely in such an environment that Your presence was so powerful, so penetrating. I did not have to fight my element for a single minute. You were so thoroughly within it; You filled it with Yourself. I did not need to struggle with it. You made it clear that it should simply be accepted — not to seek shelter, but to seek You within it.

"If You believe Me..." You said.

I want to add: you will find Me everywhere.

I remember, Lord. Help me to carry this through my whole life. Bless me so that Your gifts do not become for me merely memories.