Eternity and Us

26.12.2023

Today's meditation was on Luke 1:26-38, Luke 2:1-21 + SE 101-109,114.
During the meditation, very interesting images came to me. I do not perceive them as something related to reality, it is unlikely that reality is so simple). But they showed me more broadly and deeply who Christ is. They pushed away the notion of Him as merely a human-like Divine person.

At the beginning of the meditation, I suddenly thought how frightening it is to live with the awareness of the finiteness of life, the awareness of a limit beyond which there is NOTHING more. Probably the most terrifying thing you can do to a person is to make them believe in the illusion of death and time, to believe that beyond the illusion there is nothing. Then, not seeing the meaning, a person will fully immerse themselves in it, give free rein to all their animal manifestations, and forget about any awareness.

Then, my attention was strongly drawn to the third point of SE 108:

Observe the actions. Reflect on what people do on
earth; how they quarrel, kill, go to hell, and so on. And on what the Divine
Persons do: They perform the all-holy Incarnation and so on. And on what the angel and
the Blessed Virgin do: how the angel fulfils the duty of the messenger, and the Blessed Virgin in
humility thanks the Majesty of God.
After which, give yourself to reflection, to derive benefit from each such
action.

Observe the actions. I was particularly attracted to the angel fulfilling the duties of a messenger: “What were his actions?.. He had to come to Mary. But how is it to 'come'? And from where? From beyond the limits of space and, obviously, from beyond the limits of time.”

In my imagination, an image of the angel appeared and I observed the actions as if standing next to him, as he appeared from somewhere out of nowhere and addressed Mary. In this moment of appearance, the transition “from there” into our space, there was something so captivating and interesting that it took my breath away and with a sense of anticipation of something incredibly wonderful, I awaited the moment when the dialogue would end and he would prepare to leave again. At the moment of “departure,” I saw such an image: he seemed to separate himself from the space, “exiting” somewhere beyond the place where he had just been, yet the place itself remained before him. As if a moment ago he was in a film, was a participant in it, and could freely act in the scene, but by taking a step back, he stepped out beyond the screen. Along with him, with a feeling of exhilarating delight, I was “carried out” as well).

The angel disappeared. I was left floating “somewhere,” without a body, without… anything. Without representations, without understanding what was happening. And only that scene, where we had just been, remained before me, like a screen with blurred edges. You could “enter” it and you could “separate” from it.
Around – no one and nothing.
One thing was clear and certain, there was an absence of the concept of “boundary” or “limitation,” they simply did not exist. This “space” was not a space. It is so difficult to explain in words, but so easy to feel. The direct opposite of our world, space-time. There at any moment, I was everywhere simultaneously. “Infinity” and “eternity” are very simple, they are something without boundaries in any understanding of the word, they simply do not exist. It can also be called “fearlessness” – there is no fear associated with the end or finiteness of anything. The most successful phrase that describes the feeling there is “I am.” It is completely futile to try to describe with our concepts, but perhaps someday words will be found to do so.

I thought: “Interesting, how to navigate here?” And then I tried to feel someone I know. At that moment, the image of the one I was addressing appeared nearby, not visually, but in the form of a cluster of feelings, which all together give my idea of this person. “So, I see, navigation here is feelings…” I began to “look around” with my inner gaze and “saw” many other souls, “clusters,” or whatever else to call them). For some inexplicable reason, there was a sense of kinship and unity, as if they were all me, and I was them. I did not know them, but at any moment I could be near any of them and could be any of them. I saw no hierarchies, orders, or differences between all of us.

I wanted to address Christ with a question, but… hesitated. How to do it? He always before appeared as a human image, but now… Here there are no representations. I thought: “Haha)) Well, who are You now?.. How to interact with You now?)))” And then I “saw” how all of us, this infinite multitude, seemed to be permeated with love, and at the same time as if swaying in its waves. And every point of our spatial universe also consisted of this same Love. And these thoughts came to mind:
“You are the pure wave of all-pervading joy and love, the force that makes all this exist. And our illusory universe of space-time is also permeated by Love and consists of it. It is just a small breath of Your love, true bright life goes beyond its limits.”

And then I thought: “Okay, You are the Creator and permeate all this, but then who is Your Father?.. Is He one step further? Beyond infinity?..
How good it is that You appeared in the flesh on Earth. What kind of consciousness must one have to understand without this, that all this permeating love is You and one can interact with You as with a friend…“

Further in the image, the angel on His behalf “dived” into different points of space-time to convey something. The necessary scenes seemed to appear before him at his desire. Strangely, but from his side, I noticed no difference between diving into someone's dream and coming to earth, as if they were the same illusions.

Perhaps if He had not shown me before that it is possible and necessary to communicate with Him directly, without distance and limitations, closer and more transparently than with the closest friend, I would have frozen in reverent awe at the awareness of the vastness of the picture He creates. Perhaps I would have “fallen” in fear before the One who is so powerful, before Whom there is no comparison that could characterize our insignificance.
But… He is a Friend))). And invites us to be His friends or even closer – His children. Therefore, we are allowed to fool around, ask silly questions, and play).