If You Trust Me... #4

The artistic images and train of thought are drawn from meditations that the Lord gave me during the 30-week Spiritual Exercises.

You said, 'I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I long for it to be kindled already!'.
How long my soul had been cold and damp. You allowed me to go inward to the darkest place, where my chief obstacle to Your love lived — it was the embodiment of my fear and self-hatred. You said, 'fire cannot be kindled here', and Your words returned to me as a pang of sorrow.
After some time You led me back there. I was already trying to keep a small smouldering ember alive, crouched to the ground against the wind. You commanded me to open it. And then, despite the fear of losing that little flame, I trusted You.
'If You trust Me...' — this leitmotif sounded through all Your gestures.
The fire flared up with such force that it warmed the ground.

There was so much hidden, unrealised fire in our meetings (which had been extinguished) that in that moment I finally felt it must be free. With it came warmth and light to a place that had long been lifeless and desolate.
Fire is the gift You have given me — a talent. At this stage of life I see that it is a talent for any kind of creativity.
You showed me a vivid example of how fire can free me from imposed frames: I saw myself surrounded by stakes with no chance of escape, and how flame ran along them, burning them to the ground.

Because You taught me not to fear the fire You planted in me, I embraced my bright creative side. And my experiences became fuel for its yet greater strength: some of it nourishes quietly and gently, and some of it burns away with crackles and sparks.
May my fire only illuminate the paths that lead to You.