The Shoes of Mercy

Krakow
29.08.2023 18:14

Reply to a message to Fr. Victor (my spiritual guide) on Telegram

You know, all of this is very, very beautiful.

Just before your message, the following happened:

I read the following phrase of His in the diary:

“Oh, how deeply I am wounded by the soul's distrust. Such a soul professes that I am Holy and Just, but does not believe that I am Mercy, does not trust My Goodness. Even the demons praise My justice, but do not believe in My goodness.”

I began to ponder what it means to distrust Mercy. I have fully experienced His Justice, in health, in finances, in family. But how can one not trust Mercy, knowing about Justice? After all, punishments should obviously be much greater if one were to rely solely on the logic of Justice. And finally, I realised that to “trust” in Mercy means to rely on it, that is, even in feelings, not to worry or doubt Mercy.

This is precisely what I lack.

After this, He came to me dusty and weary after a long, exhausting journey, with a dirty face. He sat before me to catch His breath. At first, I looked at Him with surprise—why and because of whom is He in such a fatigued state? Then, in a rush, I hurried to wipe at least the sweat and dust from His face, then accompanied Him to the shower. He returned, rested a little, put on the same dirty dusty clothes again, and began to pull on the dusty torn boots, but I quickly gave Him my new ones and embraced Him farewell.

On the floor of the room were dirty footprints from when He entered, but there were no dirty footprints on the way back.

And then you wrote to me about the retreat.

Now, after your message about the third week of His sufferings, I understood what this image means. He is dusty and tired not because of someone else, but because of the dust of my small but frequent mistakes over the year of this journey. He called me on this path in the same clothes a year ago.

Only now and today have I truly felt the urge to do something for Him, because until this moment I understood that He is Perfection and there is nothing I can really give Him. And now I just rushed forward beyond this.

The new shoes I gave Him today are my current understanding and acceptance of Mercy, relying on which it is so convenient to walk and step. That is, at least this one aspect should no longer cause Him discomfort. I still do not understand why He put on the same clothes... There was also an old dusty backpack. These images take a long time to fully unfold.

Now I see and realise that everything is going as it should).