Point of No Return

#betweenmeditations

I only fell asleep in the early morning for a few hours, only to wake up and find out that I did not pass the probation period at work and must leave within a month.

Just yesterday, this would have been a catastrophe. But not after this night. I am completely calm. Up and down. On the video call where I was told this, I am the living embodiment of relaxation.

After what I have seen and experienced, this is just splashes and foam.

Suddenly, with all clarity, I understand that I will not look for a new job. I've had enough. It's time to stop stubbornly arguing and listen to Him.

I am sick of code, websites, calls. This has long not been for me.

I must, I want, and I will work with people.

I will not go abroad this autumn. I will spend this winter here, in my home. I will walk in the park as much as I want, whenever I want.

I will never have deadlines again. I will never rush anywhere again. If I want to sit half a day and watch the leaves fall from the trees, I will do it.

I will finally engage in something creative.

So many books are waiting for me to read them.

I will do only what is truly important.

Important for me and for Him.

And nothing more.

Nothing.

More.